Trafcom News

I’m not a guy

Am I the only person bothered by wait staff who ask if “you guys” want any more coffee? This happens all the time, whether I’m with one person or six, regardless of gender. Yesterday in a restaurant with my partner, I heard it again. Delivering my latte, the waitress asked: “Are you guys waiting for anything else?”

Hmmm. Why didn’t she say:
“Are you waiting for anything else?”
“Are you two waiting for anything else?”
“Are you folks waiting for anything else?” (All right, she was too young to say folks!)
“Can I get you anything else?”

I’m beginning to think that the only restaurants where you aren’t called a guy are those that charge $35 for an entrée.

Believe me, I'm grateful to enjoy a meal that I don't have to cook (or clean up after), but please don't call me a guy!

Lay it on me, Mr. Salesman

It’s been a while since I’ve plunked down cash for a big-ticket item, so I’d almost forgotten how some salespeople treat customers in this situation. Buying my last car was a real joy, I tell you, right down to the salesman forging my signature so as to divert my old lease deposit to his pocket. (Yes, I got my money back, and received what seemed like a heartfelt apology from the owner of the dealership.)

This week, I’m shopping for a furnace and air conditioner to replace the unreliable clunkers I now own. Last night, the first in a parade of sales guys arrived (oops, I mean “home comfort consultants”). My favourite part of our meeting: when he extolled the benefits of the shiny new programmable thermostat that would replace the old-school dial model I have now. “Don’t worry, you’ll be able to program it yourself.” Gosh golly, what a relief! I’ve been awake nights worrying about whether I could figure out how to work that darned newfangled thing all by myself. He forgot to add the honorific “little lady.”

The kicker was the final line delivered as he teetered at the door peeling off his paper booties: “Oh, I should mention that this special price is only good this week. You have to decide by Thursday.”

Condescension: 1
Pressure tactic: 1

Let’s see how tonight’s salesperson fares. Oops, I mean “home comfort consultant.”

What if in-flight announcements were truthful?

Like this:

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. We are delighted to welcome you aboard Veritas Airways, the airline that tells it like it is. Please ensure that your seat belt is fastened, your seat back is upright and your tray-table is stowed. At Veritas Airways, your safety is our first priority. Actually, that is not quite true: if it were, our seats would be rear-facing, like those in military aircraft, since they are safer in the event of an emergency landing. But then hardly anybody would buy our tickets and we would go bust.

This is from a nicely written piece in the Economist . I've never believed in those "flotation cushions." Now the truth is revealed.

Hat tip to Bad Language blogger (and pilot) Matthew Stibbe.